Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
