I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
