Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
