Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize