If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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