She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
