I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
