our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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