TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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