I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
