He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
