Sry I called you an 8
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
