so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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