only you would photoshop your dick
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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