He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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