I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
