The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let's get the cat blown out
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
