fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
