i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
