Fine. I'll sleep in my office
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
