soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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