please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
