So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
