Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
