Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
