I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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