I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
