Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
