Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
