apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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