She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
