Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize