Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
