JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
