The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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