Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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