I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
