He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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