Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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