So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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