you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
