I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
