I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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