my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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