i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
