3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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