so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
