I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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