god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We need to rekindle our bromance
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
BRING THE BAGELS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
