people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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