im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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