I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
