I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
