And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
so much tequila, so little girl.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
