I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
