I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize