I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
