Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize