I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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