Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
