Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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