I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if only i could text you this smell
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
