She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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