in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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