For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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