I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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