i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
